Our Perception is Our Reality
I published this idea last year and thought it would be good to present it again this week. Consider the following concept: Perception is the driving force of behavior. This idea may be so subtle that we don’t bring it to consciousness when addressing our child’s performance in school, but it is a fundamental idea that families and schools would do well to explore in dealing with children. Love and Logic philosophy indicates that, to affect disruptive, volitional behavior on a long-term basis, we need to change the perceptions that drive that behavior. Not only is perception the driving force of behavior, but it appears, from observing human behavior, that perception becomes reality. When we interpret another person’s behavior through our own perception, we can run into some impassible barriers. As educators, especially when disciplining students, an understanding of the student’s perception, as well as our own, is vitally important to not only be effective in our disciplining but to avoid the pitfalls of power struggles, passive-resistive behavior, and perpetuation of the offending perception. When dealing with perception in relation to discipline, the following phrase from James Rafini comes to mind: “If I can’t win, at least I can avoid losing.” This is a perception that drives much of the misbehavior we see in children. Almost all behavior has a positive spin in the perception of the person committing the offense. A “positive spin” in the case of the misbehavior is often related to a desperate attempt to maintain a sense of self-worth. In my experience, it seems the more we work to change behavior rather than perception, the more the “fight” or “flight” principle comes into play. Children normally are trying to avoid failure. To protect that which is “us” is our primary goal, and we will go to great lengths to do this. People strive to be the best they can be, given their field of awareness. More information can be found at www.LoveandLogic.com.
Rich Webb |
